Monday, January 3, 2011

Open Windows........

On Jessi's first visit to the Dr. she had the biggest compliment about her eyes. That would be the beginning of many many references to Jessi's eyes through out her life.
They say the "Eyes are the Windows to your Soul" I so believe that. Now more than ever.
Jessi didn't have one color to her eyes. I had always wondered when she would get her drivers license what we would list as her eye color. Let's see.......brown,silver,grean,blue, name it the colors where there. That very first Dr's visit in Key West Florida in October 1996 her Dr. said this child has like seven different colors to her eyes. The dr then handed me the thing you look into the eyes with and I saw how very right she was.
I can't help but believe that was part of who Jessi really was.....Not all of us have many different colors to our eyes. Mine are blue, her dads are hazel.........Most people have brown eyes.
Several weeks back our youth leader called and wanted to know the color of Jessi's eyes. I couldnt list just one color....Our church dedicated the youth room in memory of Jessi (how I hate that word memory!) and painted a character of her, they gave her blue eyes which is fine with me because alot of times of course depending on the color of clothes she wore some colors would show up more.
So many times during around journey in and out of the hospital just about everyday someone would compliment Jessi on her beautiful eyes.

I say this probly cause I'm her mom but I believe that her beautiful eyes where just the beginning of what was really inside of Jessi. The eyes where the beginning. Kinda like the Prologue in a book......And as you read the book, if it was really good, you couldnt put it down and each chapter just got better and better. And you didn't want the book to end it was good you wanted it to go on forever, or maybe there would be book 2.

Unfortunately in life there is an ending and there will be no book 2 or 3....

I wish this whole ordeal was a book, and I could put it down, and be done with it. Because this isn't one of those good reads. But every night I go to bed thinking I have to get up and do this all over again.

Then morning comes (or mourning)........The sun comes up and the day starts. The days are very long.

Jessi's book never got finshed........her story wasn't was just beginning.

Some days are more bearable than is an unbearable day...

1 comment:

  1. How true that is. I can say with all your posts, our photos. I was always mesmerized by her eyes. I remember when we met her in the Keys with Tiffany. Jessi had to be 5 years old. What a pleasant surprise, that girl came right up to me and yes It Was Her Eyes. But way beyond her years, she was willing to take me by the hand and give me a tour. Just remember Tiffany was and still is the very quiet church mouse. And Jessi would jump in the water that was "20 feet" deep and Tiffany would just watch, amazed. No fear in those eyes. Sorry to say this "snow bird" didn't have the mermaid grace as her cousin. Just remember every time you have had the pleasure to look into her eyes..... do you remember your conversation and the hold that kept you there.